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In the second trimester you will have a chance to hear your baby's heartbeat and possibly see your baby through ultra sound. These experiences usually bring a heightened sense of reality...we are really going to have a baby!
In our society we tend to value men's financial contributions to our families more than our emotional contributions. It is understandable then why concerns over money or financial security become the focus of many expectant fathers. It may also become an acceptable "male" way of expressing concern for your partner and unborn child. It is usual to begin to think about how your finance will be changed by having a baby, but if you become preoccupied with money concerns, something deeper may be troubling you. If you feel that dealing with "money" is all your responsibility it may be touching on deeper issues of competency or security. It is important in this second trimester to discuss your finances with your partner but also to keep them in perspective. Developing a little "tolerance for uncertainty" is a useful skill both in pregnancy and parenthood.
Many expectant dads report that during the second trimester there is a change in the sexuality with their partners. Each expectant mom will respond differently to the hormonal changes her body is going through. For some women it pregnancy can intensify their sexual arousal, while for others it appears to diminish it. As a father-to-be it is important to see that in this second trimester many of your partner's responses may be driven by the changes her body and hormones are putting her through. At this point in the pregnancy you may begin to feel concerned about how your relationship with your partner is fluctuating. You may begin to notice how the routines you have taken for granted are changing. Couples often share basic routines around meals, leisure time and household chores. A simple habit, like a Sunday morning breakfast may no longer be desirable to your partner if she has morning sickness. If you both use to enjoy going out weekend evenings and now she feels too fatigued, how are you going to respond? You may feel disappointed to discover the partner you felt you knew and understood and depended on is no longer herself. Every couple experiences these changes differently. Try and talk with your partner about the changes your feel the relationship is going. Try and be understanding with each other about all the happiness, guilt, anticipation, ambivalence and frustration that is now going on in your lives. Establishing a pattern of "open communication" with your partner at this time in the pregnancy will allow the both of you to move toward the birth in a more supportive and positive relationship.
Here are here are a few practical tips that pregnant dads have shared with me during the 2nd trimester of pregnancy.
For your wife/partner:
- Start to take-on more of the chores around your house or apartment.
- Let your partner know she is going to be a great mom.
- Let her know that you and her can talk about both the positive and negatives about being pregnant.
- Talk about how your lives can slow down, how you can both do less in the coming months and enjoy the pregnancy.
- If you haven't done so yet, discuss with her about the birth plans she wants and your participation during the birth of your baby. If you want to do only labor support, cut the baby's cord, or if you want to help your midwife "catch" the baby, share this with her and discuss it with your midwife. Help her design her birth plan to include what you want from the birth experience.
For yourself:
- Talk with two other new fathers about how they are feeling as parents.
- If possible, ask your father what it was like for him when you were born.
- Go for a walk with a friend who will listen to you talk about how you feel about being a "pregnant" dad.
- Go to a bookstore and look through the books on parenting, choose one for yourself. Talk with your midwife about recommended books or visual aids that may help you to learn about the process of birth and support the plans you and your partner have made about where and who you plan on assisting with the birth.
- Take time alone to reflect on your feelings about becoming a father. Share these feelings with your partner when alone and with your midwife.
Fatherhood is a wonderful, rewarding blessing. Enjoy it, embrace and treasure the experience.
MEN & FATHERHOOD
My Favorite Internet Fatherhood Pictures:
It takes more than a Man to be a Father! It takes love, commitment, sharing, duty to family, support (both financial and emotional), caring, discipline, and so much more! Love and take care of your children... they are the future and may someday have to take care of you.
MoonDragon's Pregnancy Information: Circumcision Decision
Fatherhood by Bill Cosby
FATHERHOOD RESOURCES:
American Coalition for Fathers and Children
(800) 978-3237
www.acfc.org
At-Home Dad
(508) 685-7931
AtHomeDad@aol.com
Bay Area Male Involvement Project
www.bamin.org
Center on Fathers, Families and Public Policy
(312) 341-0900
Children's Rights Council
(202) 547-6227
www.crckids.org
Families and Work Institute
www.familiesandwork.org
Fatherhood: Meeting The Challenge
fatherhood.hhs.gov/guidance01/ch5.htm
The Fatherhood Project/Families and Work Institute
(212) 465-2044
www.fatherhoodproject.org
Fatherhood USA Video Materials
www.familiesand work.org
HandsNet
www.handsnet.org
Institute for Responsible Fatherhood and Family Revitalization
(202) 293-4420
www.responsiblefatherhood.org
Men's Health Network
www.menshealthnetwork.org
National Center for Fathering
(913) 384-4661
www.fathers.com
National Center for Strategic Non-Profit Development and Community Leadership
(202) 822-6725
www.npcl.org
National Center on Fathers and Families
(215) 686-3910
www.ncoff.gse.upenn.edu
National Fatherhood Initiative
(717) 581-8860
www.fatherhood.org
National Fathers' Network
(206) 747-4004
www.fathersnetwork.org
National Partnership for Women and Families
www.nationalpartnership.org
National Practitioners Network for Fathers and Families
(800) 343-7633
www.npcl.org
FATHERHOOD READING, HUMOR, & EDUCATION
NUTRITION DURING PREGNANCY
ARTICLES TO READ
SIGNS & SYMPTOMS
Calculating Your Due Date
Hand Held Calculator
Online Calculator
Pregnancy Calculator
Common Pregnancy Symptoms
Morning Sickness
Morning Sickness, Homeopathic Tips
Hyperemesis Gravidarum - Conventional Treatment
Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Mood Tips
Bowel Tips
Gestational Diabetes
Dizziness In Pregnancy
Breast Enlargement During Pregnancy
Heartburn
Heartburn Tips
Pregnancy & Urinary Tract Infections
Pregnancy & Asthma
Pregnancy & Seizures
Pregnancy & Headaches
HEALTH & FITNESS
Prenatal Vitamins
Nutrition During Pregnancy
Folic Acid During Pregnancy
Fatigue In Pregnancy
Getting Ready For Another Baby
Things To Avoid During Pregnancy
Pregnancy Don'ts
Miscarriage
Habitual Miscarriage
Dentistry During Pregnancy
Prenatal Exercise
Kegel Exercises
Smoking During Pregnancy
Drugs During Pregnancy
Medications During Pregnancy
Birth Defects
Weight Gain During Pregnancy
Pregnancy Concerns
Pregnancy & Chronic Health Problems
Skin Care Tips During Pregnancy
INSPIRATION & FUN
Traveling During Pregnancy & With Kids
What Is A Midwife?
Living With A Pregnant Person
When Baby Makes Three
Male Bonding by Kellie Head
Things I Wish I knew Before Parenthood
Birthing Within
MoonDragon's Pregnancy Calendar Index
Photos obtained from A Child Is Born by Lennart Nilsson
and Pregnancy - in anatomical illustrations by the Carnation Company
The Conception Kit™
by Conceivex Inc
The only Conception Kit approved by the FDA
For use in the United States. This kit contains
a 3 month supply of Conceivex conception products.
MoonDragon's Conception Information
Using The Conception Kit™ Instructions
& Ordering Information
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