 |
 |
|
Pagan Family Page
Introductions & Modern Pagan Families
The Pagan Parenting Partnership (PPP) is about living in our society and in our individual communities. It is about our history as humans, as Pagans, and as families.
It is about energy-working magick (spelled with a -ck added to differentiate from "magic" as performed on stage by magicians and illusionists) and rituals. It is about honoring the Goddess and the God in all of their aspects.
The PPP is about psychology, education, politics, and the changes that bring about enlightenment to the world. This brings tolerance, acceptance and understanding to those who were not enlightened before. Ignorance breeds fear. Fear promotes hatred and violence. It is time to stop the fear, hatred and violence. As Pagans, we must be tolerant of other lifestyles and belief systems outside of our own. It is up to us to come out of our "broomclosets" and educate our communities.
We must set high moral standards for ourselves and our families, setting an example and the foundation for our children, grandchildren and our future generations of humanity. It is highly important at this time to work towards preserving and restoring our planet, our Mother Earth to a healthy state of being by opening our consciousness to this work. This work means survival of not only our own species, but also all the animals, plants and living earth of our world. It is a time we come together in sisterhood and brotherhood to take on this overwhelming task.
We must teach our children about our Pagan ways. Many Pagan parents are making decisions about whether or not to raise their children in their own spiritual pathways. This includes whether or not they should even guide their children's spiritual growth in any way, shape or manner. Some Pagan parents may feel that the child should make his or her own spiritual choices. This I agree with totally (although it would be nice if all my children and grandchildren were on the same pathway as I am... but, in reality they are not). But, at the same time, I also feel that we need to educate our children about our belief system, about our rituals, about our spiritual choices and why we made them. By doing this, they can make an informed choice later in their lives.
Most of us Pagans had some form of religious upbringing in our childhood. (I was baptized Mormon at the age of 12, dressed as a witch! It was October 28th and I came directly from a Girl Scout Halloween party to the baptism... talk about visions of future events! I have had several of these happen to me on my way to discovering my pagan pathway. Others I know, especially around Salem were raised Catholic.) This religious upbringing helped us to make decisions at a later time when it came to following a Pagan Spiritual Pathway. It helped us by laying a groundwork and letting us know "what we don't want" and "what we do want" in a spiritual way. We should not allow our children to roam aimlessly through their lives. We need to lay a spiritual groundwork for them when they are young. They can make the choice later to either stay with their childhood Pagan path or to try other pathways. It is the groundwork that is important. It helps to give them a direction to begin with. A starting point. I have met so many people that have been raised with no or very little spiritual background and they are so lost and confused, spiritually, that they have no direction or spiritual purpose. Sometimes this aimlessness influences other aspects of their lives in career choices, relationships, and goals. Many bounce from one religion to another without connecting with anything or having any kind of spiritual control over their lives. All they know is they are searching but they aren't finding what they need in their spiritual hunger. Too many of these "lost" individuals end up in some horrifying cult (I am talking primarily about the "one male god" radical cults we hear about frequently, Christian or otherwise), losing their personal property and mind-will control, becoming brainwashed robots unable to think for themselves, often abused physically and sexually, and maybe ending up drinking funky koolaid. We should not let this happen to our children.
We need to lay a spiritual foundation in our children. This part of them needs to be nourished and nurtured as much as their physical bodies and their minds. It is part of our responsibility as parents and grandparents. We need to set a good example for our children spiritually as well as in all other aspects of our lives. They learn from our example. We need to include them in our holiday (sabbats) celebrations, such as celebrating Yule instead of Christmas. We can explain the origins of our holidays (such as Yule) and how they came to be known as the current holiday (e.g., Christmas). We also need to include them in our "working" rituals (esbats or other type of ritual work for things we need), when appropriate. For instance, if you do a ritual to find a new home to live in, include your children in the ritual. After all, this affects them too. Children can enjoy participating in these things.
My personal example:I was in the kitchen making homemade incense for an upcoming ritual I was planning when my 3 year old grandson came running into the kitchen right from taking a bath. Still damp, having thrown the bath towel in the middle of the floor, he climbs onto my lap to see what "grammie" was doing. I explained to him I was making some incense and why. He wanted help. I told him that was fine and I guided and helped him to take a pinch of this and a pinch of that and mix it together. After the mixing, I explained to him that we need to give the incense some energy so it could work for us. He very happily assisted me with the "charging" of the incense. There he sat, slightly damp, totally skyclad, his eyes closed and holding his hands over the incense with mine and the pure energy of his spirit helped me to charge that incense. That was the best incense I think I ever made. He also assisted us in doing some of our spellwork. A child's energy is so pure and untainted it adds a wonderful positive influence on family ritual work. When he was 8 years old, we had a ritual "confirmation" for him as a "witchling" or a "witch-in-training", also known as a WIT. We gave him is first athame and a pentacle at this ritual. We helped him to bless his new tools and discussed what and how they are used. He participates with us when we have our family gatherings and holidays. I don't know if he will remain Pagan, this is up to him. I hope he does. But at least he has been properly introduced to it and has some understanding of it. This is including the responsibilities that go along with being a "working Pagan."
Children want to know about these things. They want to know the wherefores and whys of everything around them. They want to know how things work. Why we do things a certain way. They have a wonderful, natural imagination and curiosity that should be put to good use and encouraged. Their minds are like sponges, soaking up everything around them. They want to other things like... Where do I come from? Why am I here? Where will I go when I die? What is out there? Educating our children, spirituality, will help them to understand their place in the world and in the universe. So it comes down to this, if they are going to soak up information, spiritual or otherwise, I would rather it be from me (as grammie) or from me (as mom) than some one else that should not be trusted, or is abusive, misleading, hateful, and spouting dogma and doctrine that I totally disagree with on a personal and spiritual level.
Another reason to teach our children about our pagan ways is if we don't include them in our rituals and talk with them about our beliefs and the hows and whys of what we do and how we do them, they may not fully understand or misinterpret the rituals and beliefs. There is more than enough negative, inaccurate propaganda out there in the "One Male God" religions, in our communities, our work places, and the media, movies, games, television programs, and other resources that have distorted and demonized our belief system. Our children are being exposed to this every day at school, in the community, on the television, and so forth. They are constantly being bombarded with these negative messages. We NEED to educate them with the positive and truthful aspects of the Pagan spiritual pathway. Believe me, if we don't teach them, the chances are they will not accurately learn about it from any other outside source. We need to open and keep open our communications with our children so they understand.
Teaching our children can be even more important in a sheltered "in-the-broomcloset" family situations where the parents may be afraid of outsiders becoming aware of their Pagan spiritual pathways. I know what it is like to be the brunt of prejudice and persecution by the spiritually ignorant and morally stunted (or is that the other way around?).
"Been there, done that!" Religious persecution is one of the reasons I moved here to Salem, Massachusetts with my daughter and my grandson (born 3 weeks after moving here). Here, in Salem, I can be fully out of my "broomcloset" and live relatively safely without alot of the fears we had living in other areas of the country. We have a relatively large Pagan community here (although they don't seem to agree on much... the Salem "witch-wars" between individuals and coven groups). No matter where we live, it is sad that we are still harassed and persecuted by those who are so very closed minded, fearful, and hateful. The fear that Pagan parents feel can be well founded. This is very true. There are some areas of the country I would not want to live because of this. However, it is getting better, slowly, as more and more Pagans spread out and become known and "out". But there are a great deal of uneducated, narrow minded, ignorant individuals, some in authority positions (police officers, judges, child services case workers, and other community leaders), that would go to great lengths to cause misery for a Pagan family. Loss of employment, loss of home, loss of children to child protection agencies, legal actions by courts, even injury and loss of life at the hands of a Pagan phobic individual are real issues in some locations. No matter how much we try to prevent becoming "known" in a potentially "hostile" community, our children can innocently "out" the parents by accident. It happens. This can cause difficulties with outsider misinterpretation and unwanted intervention. This can happen whether the child has been educated about the parent's belief system or not. However, if we don't discuss our beliefs and our rituals with our children, the child can also misinterpret rituals and actually make things worse for the "outed" parents. So, my feelings are, if there is a chance that our "cover is blown" at some point. I would rather have the information be accurate and truthful instead of being inaccurate and misleading. "Prevention is worth a pound of cure" and this goes for educating our children and our communities.
We must teach our children about respecting themselves, other people, animals, and everything in their environment. They need to learn about nature, the earth, the universe, and how their environment works and about cause and effect. We need to teach them that abuse, in any form, is inappropriate.
We need to give our children the knowledge, skills, and tools to survive and face the world and life with confidence and determination. We cannot prevent or shelter our children from all the negative influences and dangers that they may encounter. We can only help them by giving them what we can to help them make wise decisions. We need to share our own life experiences with them so they understand why we feel and do the things we do. It helps to "humanize" us as parents and grandparents. After all we were kids once and have been through many of the same things they are going through now, mistakes and successes. We need to tell and express our love to our children often and really mean it. We need to support them and help them to make wise decisions, but at the same time we need to let them make their own decisions, for better or worse. Life is full of choices, every day. Watching our children make mistakes can be difficult. But this is how they learn and grow. Hopefully we have given them the tools and knowledge along the way that they are able to make a responsible decision with a positive outcome.
This education begins in our own homes within our own families. Our children are the future and the promise of things yet to be. As Riahanon Boulay said in her article The Real Freedom of Choice: Why aren't we raising our children as Pagans...
"Childhood is nothing more then a dress rehearsal for the big play called life. Of all the things we can teach our children, faith and the means to express it should be uppermost in our minds. With faith, many of the choices and decisions that people face in life may become easier to make, or at least not so frightening to face. Faith can see one through many a crisis by giving them wisdom to draw upon and knowing that they never walk alone, there is a higher power to lean upon."
We must honor our children as our future leaders of generations yet to be born. Let's prepare them for this great task at hand.
As we will... so mote it be.
Parenting Ourselves First
Our parenting abilities need to be explored and sound skills obtained long before we ever conceive our first child. Many times we bring emotional "garbage" into our relationships from our childhood and adult life interactions. We need to consciously think about our emotional, physical, and spiritual stability before we invite a new or reincarnating spiritual being to join us as our child. It is a great responsibility to parent a future leader.
As a midwife, I have gazed into the eyes and souls of these special spirits that are being born in our time as our children and grandchildren. They are more aware, intelligent, gifted and perceptive. Many are older spirits from time past and have special paths to tread in this life, to experience and to grow from.
Let us begin our parenting with ourselves... Not all of us have had safe, loving and secure lives. Many of us have been victims of hatred, control and violence. Although we may carry the "scars of experience" within us for the rest of our lives.... it is our duty to try to heal the open wounds we pack with us and to break that vicious cycle with our children. Seek out help, if we need it, from our community and spiritual associates. Work on healing our own minds, hearts and bodies before we conceive our children.
The Sacred Conception of Life
When we feel it is time to have a child or children in our lives... Send out a calling into the Spirit World for that child. Do a Ritual of Calling. Ask for assistance from the Elementals, Deities that you work with and from your own Spirit Guides. You may have to do this calling more than once or each month around your fertility/moon cycle. I would also encourage you to make your conception-lovemaking a part of the ritual in an act of The Great Rite in honoring the sacred Creative Forces of the Universe and that of the Goddess and her Consort. Make your conception a spiritual one as well as a physical one.
Meanwhile, while the "Call" is being worked upon in the astral-spiritual planes, you and your partner must ensure a healthy conception and pregnancy by making the effort to make yourselves as healthy and physically optimal as possible.
Eliminate alcohol, tobacco, recreational, over-the-counter and non life-threatening drugs and chemicals from your lives and bodies. Clean up your dietary and exercise habits. Clean up your emotional and psychological habits as well.
Improve your personal relationship with each other and allow loving growth to develop within your relationship. Have fun together, laugh together, enjoy each other, meditate together, make love and love each other. Reduce and eliminate as much stress in your lives as you can. Stress is the number one inhibitor of conception in normal, healthy bodies.
It would be good to contact your medical care provider, whether this be allopathic or alternative... personally I would lean towards the alternative approach. You may even contact your local community midwife and have a well-woman checkup with her. You may like to begin to establish a working relationship with her. She may have wonderful recommendations regarding fertility, diet and natural health promoting approaches to becoming pregnant. A good physical checkup, if for nothing more than to relieve any fears you may have about your ability to conceive, is a wise idea. It may also enable you and your partner to be aware of any potential obstacles that may have been brought to awareness.
Remember.... Love makes babies, love helps babies to be born.
Pagan Pregnancy Plans
Ah!!... Congratulations... How exciting! Now you are Pregnant Pagan Parents! You have contacted your midwife for your pregnancy test or have gone and used one of those store-bought kits... and it has come back positive! It is a time for great joy and celebration. Be sure to do a Ritual of Appreciation in honor of all the spiritual-otherworldly assistance you received.
It is now time for you to find your Birth Attendant(s), if you haven't done so already. Unless you have some health issues that require medical management, I highly recommend that you find a midwife for your delivery. Midwives spend much more time with their birthing clients and provide much more support and are very valuable for preventing problems from arising with your pregnancy and your birth. Homebirth midwives are usually the least interventive of all midwives are a good choice for couples wanting a natural birth experience in the safety and security of their own homes. As a Pagan homebirth midwife, we are able to put alittle magick back into the magickal experience of birth and provide extra spiritual support for Pagan families. Don't be afraid to shop around for just the right midwife to handle your birthing experience. Have fun making those wonderful future plans for the new arrival, and enjoy making those great preparations in excited anticipation.
My personal perception regarding choices of birthing options... choose what feels right to you. Study, learn, explore options. Make informed choices using your mind, heart and intuition. Moms... ask your unborn child what he/she would like you to do, as well. I encourage you to seek out the least interventive method possible. If you are healthy and you have a healthy pregnancy, then there are absolutely no reasons for having your child in the hospital surrounded by strangers and gadgets.
Keep in mind the spiritual aspects as well as the emotional & physical aspects of giving birth. Birthing imprints may effect your child for the rest of his/her life and also may effect your ability to parent your newborn child into adulthood and thereafter. Take control of your and your child's birthing experiences and bodies.
Unless you have serious medical problems that would dictate otherwise, I am a firm believer in giving birth to your child in the same home and maybe the same bed in which you conceived him or her surrounded by loving supportive friends, family and attendants.
Helpful Pagan Parenting Links & Resources
PaganParenting.net: The Pagan Parenting Page
Pagan Parenting Books
I'm OK-You're OK
-- By Thomas Harris
-- By Kristin Madden
-- By Ashleen O'Gaea
-- By Starhawk, Diane Baker, Anne Hill
-- By Cait Johnson, Maura D. Shaw
-- By Amber K (Illustrator)
-- By Kristin Madden
-- By Margie McArthur
-- By Chara M. Curtis, Cynthia Aldrich
-- By Shawna Carol
Pagan Ritual Supplies
Mountain Rose Herbs, Products
Mountain Rose Bulk Herbs
Mountain Rose Aromatherapy Oils
Click Here To Visit Herbal Remedies Product Page
A Source For Medicinal & Ritual Herbs & Supplies
This MoonDragon's WebRing
site owned by
Leather Dupris
|Previous 5 Sites|
|Previous Site|
|Next Site|
|Skip Next Site|
|Next 5 Sites|
|Random Site
| |List Site|
Want to join the ring?
Click here for info.]
Web Site Blessing
May the powers of The One,
the source of all creation;
may the Goddess, the Lady of the Moon;
and the God, Horned Hunter of the Sun;
may the rulers of the elemental realms, earth, air, fire and water;
may the powers of the stars above and the Earth below,
bless this web site, and this time, and I who am with You.
I ask for you to protect these pages,
and that no harm to those who visit here.
So mote it be.
Leather Dupris, Domiciliary Midwife & Pagan Priestess
