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MoonDragon's Realm - Parenting Humor


Date: Tuesday, November 26 @ 16:06:15 EST
Topic: Slice of Life

1. I'm Wet/Poopy Cry: You will hear this cry within a half hour after you have struggled to change your unwilling child into a fresh, clean diaper. After all, what else are fresh, clean diapers for? And besides, what else do you have to do?

2. I'm Panicking - Where is Everybody Cry?: You will hear this one coming from baby's crib the very second that you drift off into slumberland. This wail can be so piercing that it may even wake your husband. Maybe.

3. You're Not Leaving Me Alone In This Expensive Play Pen Filled With All of My Favorite Toys Cry: Even though you have explained to your child that "Mommy just has to go to the bathroom and it will only take a second" you will still hear this cry, which can develop into hysteria. Just try not to break your ankle when you race to the restroom.

4. My Big Brother Pushed Me / Poked Me / Took My Toy / Took My Binky Cry: This cry will be heard only if your back is turned. And you may never find out the actual cause.

5. I'm Tired Cry: This sound is music to your ears if you are ready for a nap, too. Or you may not be so glad to hear it because you are in a grocery line with a woman in front of you who is paying for 60 cans of cat food with her spare change because her "purse is getting heavy."

6. I Want That NOW Cry: This cry may be provoked by your taking away something really cool to play with like a light socket, dog dish, or a dead bug found on the sidewalk. This may also be referred to the "You're a Mean Mommy Cry."

7. I'm Hungry Cry: You will like hearing this one when you are nursing and it's been quite a few hours and you realize that those little nursing shields in your bra are not doing their job. Or you may not like hearing this from your little one when you are in the grocery line behind the cat lady again.

8. Who the Heck Is This Cry? When your baby thinks that some people look better when they are far away, you might hear this little boo hoo. You (and everyone else) will usually hear it when your boss's wife wants to hold your "cuddly wuddly little baby." Or when Aunt Mary has arrived after traveling 3,000 miles just to see your new arrival. And the first thing Aunt Mary does when she gets in the door is reaches her arms out to see baby... wahhhh!

9. The Mommy I Hate Traffic Cry: This is a definite when you are entering total gridlock at construction site - and it's 4 lanes of traffic reduced to one. Your child may also begin this cry when you are lost, downtown, in rush hour. You may hear this sound coming from adults, too.

10. The I'm Sick of Mommy Cry: Your baby may want to hear you sing another song besides Twinkle Twinkle. Or he may be tired of telling you what the doggie says. He might even be weary of Mommy shaking those plastic keys at him. Give him a little alone time and when you come back, your songs and games will all seem like fresh material. Do not take this cry personally. Take advantage of it - run to the bathroom while you have the chance.

Marcea Thomas is a freelance writer based in Pittsburgh, PA. She is also a mom of two boys, a 3 year old and a 16 month old.

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