Domestic Violence is a serious health and social problem, affecting millions of women and
children:
A woman is battered every nine seconds. One in seven women seen for general medical
care report violence in their relationship. Between one and two million women in the US
have a history of partner violence. One in nine women report recent domestic abuse and
more than one in two women report a lifetime prevalence of violence.
Approximately 97% of the victims of domestic violence are women. In at least half of
the cases of child abuse, mothers are also being abused.
In 1994, the Boston Police Department responded to more than 11,000 incidents of
domestic violence; during that same year they also made more than 3,000 arrests
for violations of restraining orders.
Children of abused mothers are six times more likely to attempt suicide and 50% more
likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.
One in five women who are pregnant also experience domestic violence. Women who are
physically or sexually abused during pregnancy are more likely than non-abused women
to deliver low-birth weight babies and to delay seeking prenatal care.
Domestic violence can result in acute injury, chronic illness, mental health problems,
substance abuse, and sometimes death.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a pattern of violent behavior and/or coercive control exercised
by a person over another person.
Abusers use physical and sexual violence, threats, emotional insults, economic
deprivation, and social isolation to dominate their partners and get their way. These
behaviors can occur in any combination, in sporadic episodes or chronically. Domestic
abuse can be a punch or a slap, harassment, intimidation, rape, or even murder.
Who Experiences Domestic Violence?
Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered - by
husbands, boyfriends, lovers and partners.
While the vast majority of victims of domestic violence are women, men are also battered.
People in gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities experience domestic violence as well.
Children are often traumatized by witnessing violence at home and may be another target
of the batterer's abuse and control.
A person who is affected by domestic violence is usually the best judge of the risks
involved and her/his opinion needs to be respected in all decisions regarding safety.
Warning Signs of abuse in relationships: While each situation is different, there are some common signs of abusive relationships.
You deserve to be healthy and safe in your relationships... Sometimes it's hard to tell
the difference between a loving relationship and an abusive one. At first, things
can be exciting and romantic. As time goes on, what may seem like a perfectly loving
relationship can sometimes turn abusive. What may have been considered "protective
caring" initially, may turn into "raging jealousy" as time progresses. Above
all... If you are a victim of abuse, it is not your fault.
The following list of some of the warning signs can help you to identify an abusive
relationship. If your partner has been doing any of these things to you, you may be in an
abusive relationship.... Please seriously step back and take another look at your
relationship if any of these things are happening...
Do you see a pattern in your relationship?
The person who is abusing you may seem like two different people -- loving some of the time
and mean some of the time. Most people want the relationship to continue and the violence
to end. This can be confusing and may make it harder to know what to do.
When people are abusive, they are taking control to hurt you. Is the person controlling
your life?
Social Interactions & Personal Freedoms:
Do you have to check in before you go places?
Are you allowed to go places without the other person being with you?
Are you expected to carry a beeper or a cell phone and respond immediately
when paged or called?
Are you told where you can go or who you spend time with?
Do you feel you have to ask to spend time with your family or friends?
Do you feel like you are being forced into isolation from your friends
and family by the person?
Are you wrongly accused of flirting, teasing, or infidelity? Are these
accusations occurring in what may be considered a totally ridiculous scenario under
normal conditions?
Personal Empowerments:
Are you being told you are not good enough?
Or that no one else would want to be with you?
Are you having mind games played on you?
Are you and your feelings ignored? Ridiculed?
Are your personal goals and activities supported?
Are you being called names and having derogatory statements made about you?
Can you express yourself without being judged? Do you feel comfortable
expressing yourself?
Can you talk about any thing without fear of being hurt
or put down?
When you don't agree, can you find middle ground or negotiate
and compromise?
Are you forced into financial dependency by taking your money? Are you
allowed to have your own money and to use it for what you deem necessary?
Is the person acting jealous, yelling, making you feel guilty?
Are you afraid?
Personal Sexual Safety:
Have you been infected with a sexually transmitted disease?
Are you forced into having sex when you do not want it?
Can you choose safer sex without being accused of cheating or not trusting?
Do you have the ability to use or refuse to use birth control
for pregnancy choices?
If you are pregnant, are you receiving the loving support
that you should be during this special event?
Personal Physical Safety:
Are you being hurt in ways such as hitting, choking, or using objects
or weapons to hurt you?
Are you making excuses to family, friends, authority figures (such
as police & health care providers) or hiding abusive attacks from outsiders?
Are you blaming yourself for outbursts and occurrences?
Are you a regular face at the emergency room?
Are you being threatened or harassed at work?
Are you being forced into drinking or using drugs?
Is the person abusing alcohol and/or drugs (which makes the abuse worse)?
Is the person threatening suicide or continuing to harass you after the
relationship ends.
You are not alone--there are many other women, like you who are or have been in similar
situations. (Note: Men can also be victims in abusive relationships.)
Tell someone you trust. Talk to a friend, relative, neighbor, counselor, or health
care provider. Get the support you need from someone who cares about you and will keep
what you say confidential. Surround yourself with people you trust and who understand what
you are going through.
Call a 24 hour hotline to get support and information about what you can do. You can
call without giving your name. Hotline people are not there to judge you, but to assist
you in exploring your choices and figuring out ways to be safe. Hotlines
can give you information about shelters, support groups, legal assistance, and other
resources. Call 411 for the number of your local battered women's program or use the
resource list in this webpage.
If you need medical attention, call your health care provider or go to an emergency room. If you are pregnant, it is important to seek prenatal care. Domestic violence can cause many different health problems and injuries that should not be ignored.
Plan for your safety--
whether you are still in the relationship, are making plans to leave or have already left.
Think about who you can call, where you can go, and what you will need.
If someone you know is being abused...
Let her know that you support and care about her and that she is not responsible for
the violence. Tell her she does not deserve to be abused.
Listen without judging. Allow her to express herself in a comforting, safe environment.
Share your concerns for her safety and for the well-being of her children.
Inform her about available resources. Encourage her to call a battered women's hotline
so she can explore all her options. Empower her to make her own decisions.
Offer to assist her in seeking medical care, legal protection or other resources should
she decide to pursue any of these options.
Whether she makes plans to leave or remains in the relationship, help her to consider
all of the ways she can increase her safety.
If you see or hear an assault in progress, call the police. Do not intervene and
jeopardize you own safety.
Legal information Domestic violence is a crime. The Abuse Prevention Act, also
known as Chapter 209A, defines abuse as:
Actual physical abuse or an attempt to harm another;
Placing another in fear of imminent serious physical harm; or
Forcing someone to have sex.
If you are being abused by your spouse, ex-spouse, household or former household member,
blood relative, the parent of your child, or a person with whom you have had a substantive
dating relationship, you have the right to seek legal protection, often referred to as a
"restraining order" or a "peace bond".
During regular business hours, you can go to your local court and apply for a restraining
order. There is no fee and you do not need an attorney. On nights, weekends, and holidays
when the courts are closed, you can obtain an order through the police, who will contact a
judge for an immediate restraining order.
Violation of this order is a crime. If your abuser violates the order, call 911 immediately.
In addition to obtaining a restraining order, you may also file a criminal complaint with
the assistance of the police department and District Attorney's Office.
A.B.U.S.E.D. Inc. - Family and friends of victims of domestic violence. Also organize seminars on abuse prevention and intervention.
Advocate Software - Created to assist Domestic and/or Family Violence service providers, programs, and coalitions to collect and report victim demographics and incident statistics.
Diane's Domestic Violence Page - Includes support resources for men, women, teens, children, lesbians, and gays; memories; help for batterers; and more.
Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence - Resource for Georgia residents with information about legislative actions, training, memberships and much more. For more information:
Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence
3420 Norman Berry Dr, Suite 280
Atlanta, Ga 30354 www.gcadv.org
Model Domestic Violence Policy for Counties - Developed by the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence.
Provides guidelines for employers, criminal justice, health and human services, and
education systems.
New Standard Domestic Violence Main Menu -
More than 60 articles, published over 11 days in this daily newspaper explore domestic
violence - its causes, its victims, and some solutions. Includes links to resources on
the Net.
No Safe Place: Violence Against Women - Companion site to the PBS documentary film which tells the stories of women who have been
battered, assaulted, and raped, as well as the stories of men who commit these crimes.
Safety Net - Domestic violence resources including bibliographies, a handbook on domestic violence,
lists of important phone numbers for help and for information, and statistics.
May the powers of The One,
The source of all creation;
May the Goddess, the Lady of the Moon;
And the God, Horned Hunter of the Sun;
May the Rulers of the Elemental realms, Earth, Air, Fire and Water;
May the powers of the Stars above and the Earth below,
Bless this web site, and this time, and I who am with You.
I ask for you to protect these pages,
And that no harm to those who visit here.
So mote it be.
Blessed Be.
Web design by Leather Dupris
MoonDragon Birthing Services & Dragon's Lair Pagan Parlor
Salem, Massachusetts E-mail: moondragon2@aol.com
MoonDragon's Obgyn Information: Domestic Violence
moondragon2@aol.com
